Am I pregnant or is this menopause?
It was right after the Thanksgiving holiday as I was trying to get the family ready for the end of year school activities, preparing for our ski trip AND finalizing Christmas shopping. I glanced at my calendar and noticed that I was supposed to be getting my monthly period. This time, I was so eager to have it before our trip to Aspen. A few days go by... nothing. A week passes and now I'm really worried. I open up to a close friend whose first reaction was pause and then laughter. She actually said "I love that the options are either pregnancy or menopause at this point!" It was funny but I was panicking. I stop by at my local Rite Aid store after dropping the kids off at school in the morning to buy a pack of "Home Pregnancy Test." Seriously? What is happening here? I am a 44 year old woman with two [grown] kids - well, grown enough not to be in diapers and/or strollers. I have NO time nor the patience for a baby in my life. How is that even a possibility at this age? I'm truly freaked out at this point.
I rushed home and ripped the packaging apart. The last time I peed on a stick, I was in my 30's! It was the most uncomfortable couple of minutes on a cold wintery morning. I waited patiently and then peed on the same stick AGAIN. What am I doing? I should know better... A very faded line started showing up. I think I stopped blinking at this point as I was staring at the stick. Nothing happened. Just a faded bluish grey line. I looked at the box to make sure this actually meant Not Pregnant. It did. Phew. I'm not pregnant. But wait, does this mean that I have already reached menopause?! What is worse: being pregnant at 44 or reaching menopause at 44? Too old for pregnancy and too young for menopause!
I must admit that I was so relieved that pregnancy was out the window. But now what? What does this mean to me? I started having flashbacks to when my mother was going through menopause and it was not pretty. The moods, hot flashes... Oh yes, the hot flashes that I have been going through in the past year must be all related to what's happening to my body now. All those sleepless sweaty nights are making more sense now. I just hope they don't last a lifetime. Of course as we are getting ready for our winter holiday vacation, I'm all paranoid that I might get my period on a ski slope. I pack whatever I can in my suitcase, handbag and pockets. Because who knows when I might get a visitor.
Around mid January, I finally got my period after 2 months. Oh, the joy I felt. But when it lasted for 12 days of heavy bleeding, I was very concerned. I immediately contacted my GYN's office and made an appointment. After all sorts of tests and blood works, my doctor confirmed that I was officially in my pre-menopausal stage. I actually felt depressed and could not believe this stage of my life is already here. I had so many thoughts and questions going through my head, so I asked the nurse "So, what do I do now?" She suggested, exercise more; eat less fat; no alcohol or spicy food late at night since they contribute to the hot flashes; and take a calcium supplement daily.
Okay, it's not the end of the world and I can certainly manage; however, this all feels so unknown and happened faster than I thought. I must admit that I have been noticing a change in my body and that makes this whole experience a lot more depressing. I feel that I have no control over my weight, skin break-outs and saggy skin any longer. Exercise has never been my thing, especially cardio. I also always believed in eating EVERYTHING in moderation and never deprived myself of anything.
I believe the time has now come to make certain changes in my lifestyle...
Stay healthy.
I rushed home and ripped the packaging apart. The last time I peed on a stick, I was in my 30's! It was the most uncomfortable couple of minutes on a cold wintery morning. I waited patiently and then peed on the same stick AGAIN. What am I doing? I should know better... A very faded line started showing up. I think I stopped blinking at this point as I was staring at the stick. Nothing happened. Just a faded bluish grey line. I looked at the box to make sure this actually meant Not Pregnant. It did. Phew. I'm not pregnant. But wait, does this mean that I have already reached menopause?! What is worse: being pregnant at 44 or reaching menopause at 44? Too old for pregnancy and too young for menopause!
I must admit that I was so relieved that pregnancy was out the window. But now what? What does this mean to me? I started having flashbacks to when my mother was going through menopause and it was not pretty. The moods, hot flashes... Oh yes, the hot flashes that I have been going through in the past year must be all related to what's happening to my body now. All those sleepless sweaty nights are making more sense now. I just hope they don't last a lifetime. Of course as we are getting ready for our winter holiday vacation, I'm all paranoid that I might get my period on a ski slope. I pack whatever I can in my suitcase, handbag and pockets. Because who knows when I might get a visitor.
Around mid January, I finally got my period after 2 months. Oh, the joy I felt. But when it lasted for 12 days of heavy bleeding, I was very concerned. I immediately contacted my GYN's office and made an appointment. After all sorts of tests and blood works, my doctor confirmed that I was officially in my pre-menopausal stage. I actually felt depressed and could not believe this stage of my life is already here. I had so many thoughts and questions going through my head, so I asked the nurse "So, what do I do now?" She suggested, exercise more; eat less fat; no alcohol or spicy food late at night since they contribute to the hot flashes; and take a calcium supplement daily.
Okay, it's not the end of the world and I can certainly manage; however, this all feels so unknown and happened faster than I thought. I must admit that I have been noticing a change in my body and that makes this whole experience a lot more depressing. I feel that I have no control over my weight, skin break-outs and saggy skin any longer. Exercise has never been my thing, especially cardio. I also always believed in eating EVERYTHING in moderation and never deprived myself of anything.
I believe the time has now come to make certain changes in my lifestyle...
Stay healthy.
Comments
Post a Comment